What Happened to My Black "MEN"

First let me start by saying that I grew up which the vast majority of my family being male. So I have been blessed to not only have the personal female perspective I also have a great insight on the minds of men and why they do the things they do. And there are times in discussion that you could assume I'm siding with the guy's point of view and I would agree --because honestly some of the things we say as women have no follow-through. They just don't quite cut it in the world of logic. But what I'm about to say is going to going to be almost completely out of my character, but it has to be done. And don't get me wrong I'm going to bring up both sides of this argument but as for now I feel like I should write about the problems occurring with many black men.

Okay, let me disclaim this whole entry by saying I LOVE black men. I love everything about them! I seriously could not do without them. I'm not opposed to interracial relationships but to me it's never even crossed my mind. Ever since I was little, I knew I was going to fall in mad in love with a beautiful, masculine black man, get married, and have beautiful black babies. I still find that to be true. Not that men of other races aren't attractive but to me all they earn is a "He's cute for a 'insert race here' boy." Not that it matters but to me black men are the cream of the crop. There is none greater! They're second to none.. well, okay, I think you get the idea, so I'll move on.

Now with all my love for black brothers, I feel, as proud supporter and proponent of black love, that it is obligation to speak out and give brothers a reality check. So here it goes:

For I don't know how long I've been hearing black men complain about black women, and the comments I hear are so degrading and ignorant. I understand there are a few characteristic that we, as black women, commonly carry and sometimes I know that some things many of us black women do can be a bit overbearing. But to swear off black men for other races.. that's extreme. Especially when you do it under the pretenses that every single black woman is the exact same to the next black woman.

Men for the longest time had been asking --or should I say, complaining, rather-- that black women hold on to the grudges of past relationship and that we judge our current/future relationships and men by the misdoings of our exboyfriends/husbands. Which, I have to be honest, does occur. But wouldn't you say by assuming every black is actually like the last sister you've met or dated is doing the same thing, essentially?

I'm tired of hearing this conversations and discussion where black women are being torn down. If you're having problems in relationship or simply with the people you encounter, why don't you take the time to evaluate not other that person but yourself. Make sure you didn't have any contribution to the downfall of that relationship or encounter.. and if all is well on your part feel free to place blame --not on ALL black women but those who have made you believe such things.

Black men, more than anyone, should know how hard it is to live with negative stereotypes weighing down on you. And yet, black men, more now than ever, have placed negative stereotypes on black women. Now, don't get me wrong so woman do fulfill these stereotypes and I'm not condoning this women or their wrong doing, however, I am saying to black men that in no way does that excuse you or allow you to judge black women as a whole based on a few bad apples. How do you all think that makes us women who are looking for a decent relationship with a black man feel when we hear that we're damned even before we try? It's like why even put forth effort to show men that we're different if they won't even allow us the second of a day to prove, "WE'RE NOT ALL THE SAME!"

Again, as I stated before I am planning on presenting the problems with black females later but for now I'd like some men to explain to me the justification behind the actions you all put forth? If you're a black man looking for love and would like that love to be with a black woman change you're current outlook if you're what I describe because honestly if you expect all black women to act negatively then all you will meet is negative black women.

There will probably be a part two to this considering the fact I can't concentrate due to American Idol being on. So leave your love.. Leave your hate... this Jai Bird's song is to be continued ;o]! Love yall.

©JaiLove™