Back to the Basics..

Hello World. I'm on the train back to the city and I thought this was an appropriate time to blog a little. I'm assuming that with my lack of presence on this blog-- those who may frequent the blog are a bit curious as to how my life has evolved the last couple of months. So instead of attributing this update to my own vanity, I'll use that as an excuse.

The last couple of months have really shook my world up. I've learned so much about being a woman, as well as being my own person. I realized that over the past year or so I was fighting so hard to become this ideal person to society. I was doing things I didn't even enjoy, saying certain things that weren't even me. And as this semester progress, I realize something that was very certain and apparent: I was unhappy.

See I'm the type of girl who enjoys jazz, poetry lounges, and the simplicities of life. Yet, I had allowed my surrounding to turn me into a young woman who thought the materialistic and tangible was all the world's worth. I allowed myself to lose my friendly, free-spirited nature and become a serious, reality-sunken individual. I can't exactly explain when this transition occur, nor can I pinpoint who influenced it. But I can assure you that things are going to drastically change.

About two weeks ago I had the blessing to meet a young man from Philadelphia. He had a certain air about him which was simply a familar breathe of fresh air. I soon learned he was a new addition to the faculty of the university I attend. And after a IHOP visit with a select few other of my peers, I decided to adopt him as a mentor. He reminds me so much of the me I used to know. Smart, driven, laid-back, honest, sharp-witted.. He's not afraid to express exactly how he feels about situations he encounters. He's very selective about whom he trusts and he's very confident about who he is and what he is capable of. It was these reasons and others that I decided to accept him as a mentor. But, I guess another reason I really decided he just had to be my mentor was because his presence only opened my eyes to the lie I was allowing myself to live. His simply being him inspired to to revert and evolve back into the woman I once was.

For a sense of accountability, I've decided to make a list of a few things I'm determined to resolve to either do or change:
1. I refuse to NOT stand up for myself. I've spent a lot time allowing certain things to happen because in an effort of being mature, I've decided to let it "roll off my shoulders" all the while letting it eat away at my dignity and reputation. Yes, picking your battles is a trait of the mature, but I realized picking your battles doesn't mean letting the presence of your army be ignored. What I'm simply saying is that while I'm not going to exhaust myself ensuring things always go in my favor, I will allow my opinion on the matter be known in a clear and concise manner.
2. I will not allow anyone to get the best of me. I'm a mature young adult. I refuse to spend my adult life bickering with others as if I'm a child. I will set my emotional temperment aside and say exactly what's on my mind once and once only. What's the saying? If you argue with a fool, no one passing by will be able to distinguish exactly who the fool is. I'm sure that's not the saying verbatim, but you get the point being made.
3. I will find time for the pleasures in life. Whether it be taking a nap, going to the movies, reading a book, or listening to jazz while blogging. I will not let the stresses of the world consume my every day and hour. Life is about finding a balance and I've yet to do that. But I'm determined to find a happy medium.
4. No more dumbing myself down for the public. I'm a smart young lady. I have a very extensive and eloquent vocabulary (although it's not apparent within this particular blog post). I feel like everyday I dumb myself down to seem approachable, I lower my standards and trick my mind into honestly believing I'm a dummy. I think this point is pretty self-explanatory. But in case it isn't.. it's like this: why hide God's blessings?
5. Forgiveness is key. I must forgive in order to be forgiven. I'm not going to forget necessarily. But I must look at every mistake and wrong doing as a lesson learned and nothing more or less than that.

I'm happy to see the progress as I continue on with life. And know I'll definitely keep you guys updated. I'm back to the basics.. and more importantly I'm back to me. Yall sound off! Have you evolved into something you aren't necessarily thrilled about? And what's your plan of action back to finding yourself?